Guilt

Ok, so I'm a really, really bad blogger. I've tried posting several times, but there's so much going on that I instantly become overwhelmed and give up. Rather than try to catch up, I'm just going to post a bunch of photos and call it good, deal? Deal.

Little Man, not wanting to sleep.
Can you see what I've had my hands full with?
I love that they both have the same squinty eyes.
Again, the squinty eyes.
Who needs the comb??
Out of all of his toys, Little Man's been choosing to play with his books lately. It makes me proud.
Pulling himself up to play with the toys.
Pulling up in the crib.
Little Man graduated to the big tub a couple of weeks ago. It sure has made my life easier having all that extra room.

Getting bundled up for school.

This is the story of my life these days. Daddy's home!

Little Man's new hobby is pulling everything off the shelf in the dining area. He only pulls things off the middle shelf, which is fine, because it's all his stuff anyway. I just about die laughing every time he finds one of his bottle nipples and starts sucking on it.

And now, the real reason for my guilt. Little Man crawled off the bed this afternoon, which actually wouldn't be that bad normally. But he landed, face first, on one of James's guitars. The strings cut his nose pretty badly. I ran him to an InstaCare, but the nurse at the desk told me to put some Neosporin on it and sent me home. I'm still sick to my stomach over it.

The Amazing Little Man

What an exciting week we've had. Little Man has learned so much! This morning, James said, "He's only supposed to learn one new thing a week, not five!" Here's the run down of his amazing feats this week:

1. He is sleeping through the night again.

On Tuesday night, Little Man was up from 1:30 to almost 3. I've never been so mad at my baby. He didn't seem to want anything in particular, just to be awake and with mom. I never really got back to sleep after I got him back down. The next day, I went to the library and checked out every book they had about how to get your baby to sleep and bought myself some earplugs. In one book, I read that if he was getting up at the same time every night, to try to rouse him an hour before he was due to wake, just to disrupt his schedule. So I set my alarm for 1 am, got up and rubbed his back until he started sucking on his binky. And he's slept through the night ever since. (We did have a little bit of a rough night on Friday, but he ended up crying himself to sleep after a while.)

2. He is crawling.

On Thursday, I was very excited because Little Man scooted one knee while we were practicing crawling after school. When James got home, I wanted to show him the progress, so we put Little Man on his knees and put his binky out in front of him. And he just crawled over to it! We tried again, and he crawled again! It's like something just clicked for him. He's still a little wobbly, but he's getting better and better.

3. He is pulling himself up.

Today, when I went in to get him up from his nap, he had pulled himself up and was balancing on his knees.


4. He can move to a sitting position from his tummy.

This might not seem like a big milestone, but this means that I no longer have to sit him up and that he can get to his hands and knees without falling down first.

5. He can dance.

The lady that runs the daycare has been playing the "Mama Mia" soundtrack a lot this week (James is not thrilled about his exposure to ABBA), and one night at home, I noticed Little Man bouncing up and down to some music. I have a super cute video of it, but for some reason I can't get it to upload. (Does anyone have any idea why? It seems like every time I try to upload something, it never works.)

That's all for this week. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Ups and Downs

The last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster. I've experienced such sweetness and joy and such frustration and anxiety. Let's start with the joy...

Little Man is really growing up. I've spent a lot of time with him the last few days and every moment I realize a little more what a sweet little person my life has been blessed with. I love it when he reaches for me to pick him up and then wraps his tiny little arm around me and holds me. I love it when he laughs at the funny face I'm pulling or at the silly song I'm making up. There's even a small part of me that secretly loves the fact that the only thing he wants in the middle of the night is for him mom to hold him.

And he's getting so smart! Watching him play has become one of my favorite things. He's really mastered the "cause and effect" thing. He'll push the buttons on his toys on purpose now. I didn't even realize he'd learned it, but then one day, he pushed the button of a toy and when the little animal popped up, he pushed it back down, then pushed the button to make it pop up again. I couldn't be more proud.

And so strong! He's "this close" to crawling. We keep practicing with him and he gets better and better every day. Tonight, he was sitting on the floor, then he leaned over and got on his knees, rotated himself to point the direction he wanted, put one hand out in front of himself, and scooted one knee. And then he fell down. But he is so close! Even though he's not crawling, he can still pretty much get into anything he wants. When he's on him tummy, he can use his hands to turn himself any direction, then he'll scoot or roll to get the object of his desires. Today, he got himself into the basket of baby care items (mostly, its full of diapers and wipes) and I found him with the bugger sucker in him mouth. It was yucky, but I was impressed that he'd made it that far across the room to get it.

Tonight, we were practicing his crawling before the bath. I stripped him down, then set him on his knees to try one more time. We were playing and having fun, then he grunted. I knew what that meant, so I quickly grabbed him. But I was too late. He had already pooped on the floor. When I picked him up, his foot got in the mess. He was very intrigued by the poop on his foot, so he reached down to grab it. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out the best way to clean this up. James was still at work, so I was on my own. I didn't want to leave him while I went to grab something to clean it up, because I knew he'd make a bigger mess. But I couldn't carry him either, because he was covered. Luckily, there were some wipes in the hallway from this morning, so I grabbed those. But while I was wiping him bum, he continued to play with the poop. I looked up just in time to see the poop covered fingers headed for his mouth. I yelled at him, then picked him up and put him in the tub (which, luckily, I'd already ran). I no longer cared about the mess carrying him would be. When James got home and saw the scene, he was totally grossed out by the pile on the floor and my stained clothes. We were laughing pretty hard about the situation by the time it was all over. Only a mother could still laugh when she was covered in baby poop.

And the frustrations... First of all, if you've seen me lately, you may have noticed that I have lost a lot of weight. I've barely noticed it myself; I only know that my pants are barely staying up these days. But I stepped on a scale at a friend's house and realized how much weight I had actually lost. I weigh almost 15 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight, which is a lot on my short body. My sister convinced me that I needed to see my doctor and make sure my thyroid was normal, especially given the fact that I've been consuming over 2000 calories per day. So I took the day off Monday to go see my midwife. She did order a thyroid test, but thinks that it's probably just because I'm breastfeeding. She put me on a 3000 calorie per day diet. I know, I know. Poor Tiffany... But it's not as cool as it sounds. I feel like all I do is eat now. It's not even fun. My blood pressure was also incredibly low (85 over 50), which probably explains the lightheadedness I've been experiencing. Hopefully, I'll feel better soon.

And the biggest frustration has been Little Man's sleeping habits. I'm pretty sure he was having a growth spurt last week. He was eating like crazy, getting up in the night to nurse, and taking marathon naps (his morning nap on Saturday was 3 1/2 hours!). I think he got a little too used to having mommy time in the night, however. Monday night, he was essentially awake from 11 until almost 3. I nursed him, gave him Motrin, rocked him, and nothing was good enough. The only way he'd sleep was if I would stand and hold him. When the alarm went off at 5 the next morning, I knew there was no way I was going to make it to work on only 3 hours of sleep, so I stayed home again. Last night, Little Man started doing the same thing. Whenever I would lay him down, he would start screaming. I decided that he was going to have to "cry it out." I am generally very opposed to "Ferberizing" but I didn't see any other choice. I convinced myself that it's only really bad for tiny babies, but not so bad for older babies that have learned to expect Mommy to come running at the smallest whimper. I still don't know if I really believe myself, though. So we let him cry. He was crying so hard that he was having a hard time breathing. He did that for about 10 minutes and then... he stopped! He went to sleep! He woke up once in the night, but before I could even get to him, he'd found his binky and was quiet again. He did get up very early this morning (5:15), but I'll take it if he sleeps through the night.

I promise this is my last story... This one is very scary! One day last week, when I got home from work, there was a strange man sitting at the top of the steps in front of my door. I thought it was weird, but I thought maybe he was waiting for someone to get home or something. On Saturday night, though, when we got home from our friends' house, he was sitting there again. This time, though, he was surrounded by beer cans and was listening to a little radio very loudly and muttering to himself. Once I got in the house, I called 911 to report him, but before the officer could get here, he took off. Later that night, James got up to use the bathroom and could hear him (and his radio) outside again. I called 911 again, and this time they were able to get him. They knocked on our door a minute later, so they could get our info to file a complaint, and told us that he's a notorious burgler in our neighborhood and also a know pedofile. Isn't that so scary! I was totally freaked out. It makes me a little nervous to be here alone in the evenings.

Ok, I promise I'm done. Here are some pictures from the week...

Here is my cute baby, cuddling with Daddy. (Please ignore the dirty house and the camera strap)
Family time before bed.

My boys, all cleaned up for church.

Cutie Patootie

My goodness. Where has October gone? I can't believe tomorrow is the 1st of November. I'm sure I lost a week somewhere...

We've had a busy week around here. School's been rough. This was the last week of the quarter, which always makes kids antsy. A lot of my AP students also saw it as an opportunity to jump ship. I had long, serious talks with some of them, but to no avail. Out of 18 kids, 7 dropped. I was feeling quite crappy about myself (it's the first time my job has made me cry), but, today, I found not one, but two, notes from kids that dropped telling me that I'm a good teacher and their decisions weren't personal. It did make me feel a little better, but at the same time, I know that it does have something to do with me. But what's done is done and all I can do it try to get it right the next time around.

Little Man still wasn't feeling well for most of the week. I spent a lot of time cleaning up blow outs and bathing him at random times during the day. Yucky.

I suppose the biggest event of the week was Halloween. I had decided a while ago that I wasn't going to make a big deal about dressing Little Man up. I was just going to find a cute Halloween shirt for him to wear and call it good. Then, the night before he was supposed to dress up for daycare, I changed my mind. I spend about 2 hours going from store to store trying to find a costume. I eventually found a super cute penguin outfit, and I think it was perfect. He looked dang cute and was a trooper about wearing it.


We went up to Jon and Bryanna's for pizza and trick or treating tonight. It's become something of a tradition. Bry offered to hold Little Man so I could eat. I thought the sight of her holding the two babies, both sucking away on their binkies was hilarious.
Here's a cute picture from daycare the other morning:
This is Little Man's George Costanza pose. He's getting so... busy. He won't even sit still for a bath. He's trying to reach the overflow thing on the tub here.
I was alone with Little Man this afternoon and had to go get a load of laundry. I didn't have enough hands, so he got to ride in the basket with the clean clothes.

So much for that flu shot I got...

What a miserable weekend we've had around here. We've all had the flu. Little Man woke up with diarrhea on Friday, but I didn't think too much about it. He's been blowing out of his diapersevery 4 - 6 hours ever since. I've never seen so much poop, or gotten so much poop on myself, in my life. The bug hit me on Friday night, and I woke up puking at about 2 am. I figured it was food poisoning, forgetting about Little Man's similar symptoms. Unfortunately, I had to get up and go to work on Saturday morning to do a lab with my AP Chem kids. I got up, took a shower, drove all the way out to my school, and sat there like a lump while my kids worked. Then I drove myself home and laid on the couch for the rest of the day. I was feeling better by the evening, which is about the same time James started feeling sick. He was up all night long last night and he's still feeling pretty rough today. Fortunately, we weren't sick at the same time so someone could take care of Little Man. The saddest part of all is that we missed the blessing of our newest little nephew. I hate missing family stuff.

The other news around here is that Little Man is getting very close to crawling. He got up on his knees for the first time on Friday. I propped him up the first time, then he started doing it on his own. I've been practicing with him all weekend and he just keeps getting better and better at it. He'll be on the move in no time.

Hypocrite

Shh.... don't tell the La Leche League. I gave my baby formula today. I've bumped up Little Man's intake of solids this week and now that he's getting extra cereal, I haven't been able to pump enough milk to mix with it. So I mixed up some formula tonight to make his cereal with, and as an experiment, I gave him the bottle to see if he would drink it. He took it and starting chugging. He even cried a little when I took it away. I'm not sure what to think of this. I can see the potential of having some options, but it also makes me a little sad that he doesn't "need" me as badly as I thought. Oh, and I feel like a huge, shameful hypocrite. I've been a total judgemental mom, turning up my nose at those other mom's who feed their babies formula. To them, I say "I'm sorry. I get it now." Don't get me wrong; I'm not weaning Little Man. But I promise to not be a crazy, breastfeeding nazi anymore.

I hate being old

Ok, so I'm a really, really terrible blogger. I have sat down to post several times in the past few weeks, but I couldn't think of a single thing to write about. We've been very busy, but only doing boring things, like working and changing diapers. That's all.

There are a few things that have happened over the last few weeks.
1. Little Man is officially sitting up. He's such a big boy. He'll sit on the floor and play by himself for quite a while now. He's very good at "catching" himself if he's about to fall over and will even put a hand down to support himself if he's leaning to get a toy that's out of reach. So big!
2. James and I went on a date this week. We haven't been on a date without Little Man since before I went before my maternity leave ended (about 6 months ago). So, I called a girl in our ward and asked if she would come sit here while Little Man slept so we could go out. It was really nice, even if it was weird, to go out and have James to myself. We had planned to go to dinner and a movie, but by the time we were done eating, the movie we had wanted to see had already started. We wandered around the Gateway for a little while, stopped at Smith's for a gallon of milk, and were home by 10. We're so old. I felt a little jipped, because we go out to eat all the time with Little Man in tow; we should have gone to do something that we couldn't bring him along for. Ah, well. It felt very easy leaving him with the sitter, though. He slept the whole time and the girl we hired is super responsible. We'll definately hire her again soon.
3. Our apartment was quasi-flooded. Somehow, the drain line for the building got clogged right below us, so all the yucky water from the apartment upstairs' kitchen backed up in our sink and in our dishwasher. It overflowed and flooded our kitchen and even part of our (carpeted) dining area. It happened very late Thursday night so it didn't get taken care of for quite awhile. I spent Friday afternoon bleaching the kitchen down and we shampooed carpets yesterday. The carpet is still a little damp and it's starting to stink pretty bad in here. It doesn't smell like a sewer anymore, but that smell has been replaced by musty, mildew-y smell. And I don't even want to think about what kind of bacteria the carpet is teeming with and how far across the apartment we've tracked it. Not good for a family with a baby that plays on the floor for a good chunk of the day.
I guess that's all for now. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks.